vicemag:

We answer your pathetic questions about dating, loneliness, and your inevitable failure.

Dear Hot Dog and The Lady Bun,
I’ve been dating a man for a few months and I think I’m developing feelings for him, how long before I can say “I Love You.”
-Shit Bird

Lady Bun Drops the L Bomb

Love is a powerful thing. It can inspire great music and art, and other times just dick pics and alcoholism. Knowing when to profess that love is the first step in the process. Saying “I love you” is like playing a very vulnerable game of Bingo, where all the numbers and letters are your hopes and dreams and the stamper is a NuvaRing. If you yell it too soon, you could lose the game, and if you get the timing right you’ll win the shitty prize (a boyfriend)! The following are some tips to helping you figure when to say the next most important phrase after “You’re standing on my vagina.”

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women love danger if they could they would just date a fire